Behind the Mask: Episode 113 – Rapport

(0:00 – 1:10)

Intro: Thanks for joining us at Behind the Mask: the unseen side of umpiring, produced by Central Illinois Softball Assigning. We can be reached at behindthemask@cisassigning.com and you can find this podcast on Apple, Spotify, Amazon, iHeartRadio, and on our website at www.cisassgning.com/behind the mask. Behind the Mask is created to share perspectives of officiating that most people don’t see, to discuss topics of interest to umpires, and to give others an insider’s view of the umpiring world.

Today’s episode is called Rapport. This is the second podcast in a series on game and personnel management. Today we’ll focus on ways that you can build a rapport with administration, coaches, players, and fans. Thanks for listening, and we hope you find this helpful. Let’s jump into today’s topic.

Overview (1:11- 4:35)

Here’s a quick outline for today’s podcast, so you can jump to different focus areas if the app or website you’re listening on has them enabled. First we’ll briefly discuss what rapport is and isn’t and set some boundaries. From there, we’ll address suggestions for building rapport based upon roles: ADs, coaches, players, and fans in that order.

Synonyms for rapport include unity, bond, empathy, and harmony, among others. When we talk about building a rapport with different groups of people, we aren’t talking about friendship. There’s a clear distinction between building harmony and building a friendship. As an official, one of the healthy boundaries we maintain is to keep ADs, coaches, players and fans at a distance. We don’t want to be their friends. That could come back to bite you in the butt during a game, and at a minimum, could make things uncomfortable for everyone. I wouldn’t invite an AD or coach to dinner or out for a beer. And there should be ZERO off-the-field contact between players and officials. It doesn’t matter what age group or playing level you’re officiating. Keep it simple by not having any contact with players outside the confines of the diamond.

I’ve been umpiring softball for 21 years. I’ve gotten to know some ADs, coaches, and parents very well. The longer I’ve known them, the ways they contact me may differ. Initially, it’s usually in email or my website. In time it may be a phone call or a text, but the boundaries don’t change. We discuss rules, scheduling games and umpires, and other softball-related things, but the discussion is never personal in nature.

Establishing rapport, empathy, trust, and harmony between officials and ADs and coaches is no different than the rapport you aim to build with co-workers. That bond helps them trust you and helps them see you as a person, rather than just someone in a uniform.

How does that relate to game management and preventing difficult situations during your games? The stronger your rapport with coaches, in particular, the easier your games will go. They’ll be less likely to question your calls, to argue your rule knowledge or application…in general it’ll be a better overall, and more fun, experience.

The key to remember is that you can do a lot of things to build rapport, but it all takes time. Newer umpires may walk to the diamond with a veteran and watch that veteran be greeted by name, with smiles and handshakes, and wonder why the veteran is treated so well. That’s respect and rapport. It isn’t earned quickly, but it is easy to earn if you do the things I’ll elaborate about in a few minutes.

You can’t rush rapport. You can’t force rapport. It’s organic, meaning that it comes naturally from the continued positive experience that a school has with you. Athletic Directors and coaches talk. The way you act or treat one team will make its way to other teams. We want to make sure that’s a positive conversation when your name comes up.

I encourage you to get out a pen and paper to jot down some notes, or visit the CISassigning website at www.CISassigning.com/news where notes from this podcast will be published, so you can take note of the main ideas to build your own rapport with coaches, schools, and organizations wherever your umpire. If you need to grab something to take notes, feel free to pause the episode and resume when you’re ready.

(4:35 – 7:57)

The first role that we’ll address is athletic directors. It doesn’t matter if it’s at a high school, junior high, or college, building rapport with an AD can help you get games and be helpful if you have issues with coaches or fans that need to be escalated.

ADs:

1. Good communication
   • ADs seldom reach out to officials. Usually it’s only to get games filled, if there’s a change to the game you’re assigned to, or the final confirmation that you’ll be at the assigned game. Be timely in your response and keep it short and simple.
   • Some ADs have an assistant who will communicate with you too. Treat them with the same respect with which you treat the AD.
2. Return contracts (if your schools send them)
   • If a school sends you a paper contract, sign it and return it as soon as you can. You may even email the school to tell them that you received the contract, signed it, and are putting it (or have put it) in the mail. The last thing they want to do is have to contact you for a follow-up to see if you got the contract and are returning it.
   • If your school is okay receiving digital copies of signed contracts, that speeds things up even more. I always sign my contracts, scan them to PDF, and email them back the next day. You may also take a picture of it with your phone end email it. Just make sure to check with the school to see if they accept digital contracts.
3. Honor your assignments
   • You’ve signed the contract and returned it so you’re locked in. At that point, unless you have a medical issue or a family emergency, honor your contract. Just as a school doesn’t want to track down an outstanding contract, they also don’t want to go back and do double work in finding and contracting another umpire because you have to turn the game back in. The same goes for assignors if they schedule for a school.
   • If you do have to turn back a game, do it as far in advance as possible.
   • Going the extra mile and finding a qualified substitute will ease the frustration that you have to turn a game back.
4. Be early
   • At the junior high and high school level, arrive at least 30 minutes before a game. At the NJCAA and NCAA level, the arrival time is 60 minutes before a game. Travel ball organizations have their own arrival times. Ask the UIC or assignor what that time is, and be there at least by that time, if not before.
   • When you arrive, don’t assume people know you’re there. Ease AD’s and coach’s minds by finding them and telling them that you’ve arrived. Don’t leave them wondering if their umpires will show up or are on time.
5. Be easy to work with
   • Bring your own water to drink and snacks if you’ll be there for multiple games. If a school offers food or drink, it’s fine to take them up on it, but asking them for it when it isn’t offered shows poor tact and preparation.
   • Find out in advance of the game where you should change if you don’t know. If you require special accommodations let them know when you submit your contract and remind them one week before the game.
6. Greet them
   • A greeting goes a long way. If the AD is there and you see them, make sure to say hi and offer a handshake. They don’t interact with you during the game, so take the opportunity to put a face with a name.

Those six pieces of advice will earn you a lot of respect with athletic directors. Put them into practice and see how it changes things for you.

(7:57 – 16:21)

Coaches:

You’ll interact with coaches more than any member of a team or school. Arguably, the rapport established with coaching staff is the most important at any institution. Not only will good rapport with them make your games go easier, but they also have the ear of school administration and can help with fans or players who are causing trouble.

It’s important to build trust with all the team’s coaches. Each of them has a specific role with the team and can assist with player and fan management. The head coach, then offensive coaches (who occupy coach’s boxes), then the pitching coach, are my priority. The head coach is the one that should approach you when there’s a disagreement or they have a question on a call. The offensive coaches are the most likely to yell out or be demonstrative during a disagreement. The pitching coach is the most likely to chirp at you about ball and strike calls. While every coach is important, a good rapport with the head, offensive, and pitching coaches will help the game go more smoothly.

Let’s take a look at seven ways to build rapport with coaches.

1. Be early
   • The same as I stated that being early will build rapport with ADs, the same is true with coaches. Be early and let them know when you’ve arrived.
2. Know the rules and apply them correctly
   • Nothing will ruin your rapport with a coach quicker than not knowing or misapplying rules. Being a student of the rules is so incredibly important that it can’t be over-stressed.
   • For starters, know your basic rules. You’ll quickly begin to earn respect if you know your rules.
   • Coaches often approach umpires to ask rules questions. Newer coaches may need clarification on a rule, such as DP/Flex. More experienced coaches have been known to ask questions to play with and try to get in your head.
     •  A number of years ago I was working a conference varsity game and I was on the plate. The head coach, who has been a coach for at least 20 years, approached me and complained that the batter, who had taken a stance to bunt, was waving her bat in front of the catcher’s eyes during the windup. “Rob, she can’t do that! That’s interference!” It caught me off-guard. I had to stop and think for a second. “Is that interference?”  After thinking for a few seconds, I addressed the situation and informed him that it was not interference. Of course, he wasn’t happy with my response, but he knew before he complained that it wasn’t interference. He was simply trying to get in my head and test my rules knowledge. Don’t let coaches throw you off or talk you into something. I built rapport with both coaches by denying his argument. While he didn’t get the result he wanted, that moment showed both coaches that I knew the rules.
3. Be able to articulate your decisions/calls
   • You will have calls questioned or argued. That’s a part of the game. First, make the right call. To take yourself to the next level and build trust in you and your abilities, you need to be able to articulate your call. Why did you call that runner out for being out of the base path between first and second base?
     • Saying she was out of the baseline will get you into trouble because 1) a baseline doesn’t apply to a dunner very frequently, and 2) that explanation is very basic and doesn’t show that you know your rules.
     • It’s helpful to articulate the rule in a way the coach can understand, and if possible, learn and use terminology from the rulebook. Rather than “she was out of the baseline”, say something like “the runner is out because she was more than 3 feet out of the base path when the fielder attempted to apply the tag.”
     • In this example, you’ve used the proper term, “base path” instead of “baseline”, you’ve given a precise measurable unit ( 3 feet), and timing (when the fielder attempted to apply a tag).
4. Answer questions and clarify rules when asked
   • Answering questions and clarifying rules is important as we just discussed. This applies to both during the game and outside of the game. If you’re asked a question before or after a game, be willing to take the time to answer it if you can. It’s important to avoid making up an answer though. If you don’t know the answer to a question, there’s nothing wrong with saying you don’t know. There’s nothing wrong with saying that you want to look up the exact language of a rule and you’ll get back to the coach. As long as you actually get back to them, they’ll appreciate that you took the extra time to research something thoroughly. You’re also encouraged to say that you want to discuss it with your association or your assignor.
5. Know and demonstrate proper mechanics
   • Just as veteran coaches know the rules well, they also know from experience, what the majority of your mechanics are. Assume they know where you should be positioned between pitches, what rotations are, and which umpire makes which calls. Being out of position won’t win you any favors or build rapport.
   • Hustle
     • Part of having good mechanics is knowing where to be when. The other part is hustling to get to that position. Though you’ll very seldom get any comments about good positioning, you can bet you’ll hear about poor positioning and lack of hustle. Even if you can’t get to the exact spot you’re supposed to be in, most coaches will respect your hustle to get as close as you can to that ideal spot.
6. Don’t be influenced by the words of opposing coaches (be fair)
   • When coaches get in your ear about something, it’s likely to get the attention of the opposing coach. It’s important to stand your ground on your call, unless you think you may have missed something or misapplied a rule.
   • It never looks good to change a call after a coach has come out to talk to you, but there are things you can do to ease the fact that you’re changing a call and do build rapport with both coaches.
     • If you think you need to change a call:
       • First, talk to your partner. Discuss the original call, the question the coach asked, and what the final decision is.
       • If you decide to keep the call as-is, inform the coach that came to you, then signal the call so everyone is on the same page.
       • If you are going to change the call, inform the coach that came to you and tell them that you will correct the call and/or move runners after you talk to the other coach.
       • Approach the opposing coach and inform them of the reason you’re changing the call. Again, it’s important to be able to articulate the reason for the change, and be ready for a counter-argument from this coach. It may be beneficial for both umpires to attend both discussions with the coaches.
       • After both coaches have been informed, signal the call and place runners at the appropriate bases.
   • While you’ll have one happy coach and one unhappy coach, you have a great opportunity to build rapport with both based on the way you handle the situation.
7. Don’t badmouth other officials or question their calls
   • Even if you don’t agree with a call that a fellow umpire made, or you’re asked a question by a coach about a call from another game, do not badmouth the calling official. Doing so is as bad as spreading rumors. Not only will coaches lose respect for you, but so will your brothers and sisters in blue. It’s an all-around lose-lose situation.
   • If you are asked a question about a call that another official made in a different game, it’s completely acceptable to say “That sounds like a play I’d have to see to give a rule interpretation”. Many times that’s true too. Without seeing a play, it’s hard to give input. You may wish to give your interpretation of a rule, but in doing so, ensure that you make it clear that it is your personal interpretation. 

There are plenty of other ways to build rapport with coaches, there’s no doubt about that. The seven we just went through are easy to implement, and will quickly get you on the right trajectory.

(16:21 – 18:28) 

Players:

Luckily softball isn’t like many other sports when it comes to player-umpire interactions. Most players are taught that they shouldn’t argue calls, make comments, or be demonstrative toward umpires. That being said, players look at umpires as the authority on the field. You’re the person making impartial decisions that will impact their stats and the outcome of the game.

In light of that, it is important to build a rapport with players. The difference is that this rapport isn’t made with direct one-on-one conversations. 

Four simple suggestions will help you gain a lot of respect from players.

1. Don’t over-interact
   • Almost none of this rapport building is done verbally. The interaction between umpires and players should be nearly non-existent. The last thing we want to do is make players uncomfortable with our presence on the field or distract them from their game.
2. Be empathetic
   • Showing that you’re an empathetic person will go a long way with players. For example, when a player is hit by a pitch or otherwise injured, be proactive in granting time for them to walk it off or get the attention they need.
3. Be proactive/show them you’re paying attention to details of the game
   • Do you see a shoe untied? A batter-runner wearing an elbow guard after she reaches base? Outfielders still running to their positions after chasing down a foul ball? All of these are opportunities to build rapport with players. Proactively granting them a quick time out to take care of their need shows that you’re paying attention to the game. That attention to little details will help build rapport with them. As they see that you are focused enough to notice the small things, they’ll respect that you’re dialed-in on the game itself.
4. Be cordial but firm
   • There are dozens of opportunities to be cordially assertive with players during a game. Whether it’s getting or keeping the batter in the batter’s box after a pitch or breaking up a mound visit, players will respect that you’re managing the game well, and equally, for both sides.

(18:28 – 20:00)

Fans:

Of all the groups listed here, building rapport with fans is the lowest priority. They don’t directly impact the game and they’re the most fluid group

The AD, coaches, and players for a school or organization aren’t likely to change from game-to-game. The fan base does. Though they aren’t important to the game, they’re the easiest to build rapport with because the bar is fairly low. The return on investment is high because it doesn’t require much effort or last long. There are two main things you can do to build rapport with fans.

• Be fair
  • Fans will pay attention to what’s happening on the field, but they don’t have the benefit of being a part of the discussions you’re having with coaches to explain calls. They may also have a limited understanding of softball rules. As such, be fair in your application of rules and treatment of team personnel. The rest will fall where it may.
• Small chit chat BEFORE the game
  • BEFORE and ONLY before a game, share a few kind words with the fans from each team. Say hi, comment on the weather or some local event, ask the home town fans for a recommendation on restaurants to grab dinner after the game. The goal here is to help them see you as a person, not just a uniform.
  • After the plate meeting starts, the interactions with the fans should cease. There are exceptions, of course, but normally after the game starts, you don’t want to open yourself up to their comments.

(20:00 – 21:21)

Game and personnel management are essential skills that an umpire learns over time. Rapport comes with time, but is never complete. Be patient as you endeavor through the umpiring profession. Building rapport is key to your umpiring experience.

Know that you will constantly meet new teams. There will be coaching and AD changes. Students graduate, or transfer, and new ones join the team. You will constantly strive to build trust and a professional bond with the teams for whom you umpire. One of the many blessings of being an umpire is the opportunity to meet new people and continue to grow as a person. Look forward to that and the chance to improve yourself year after year.

Closing

This has been Behind the Mask: the unseen side of umpiring. Produced by Central Illinois Softball Assigning, available on the web at www.cisassigning.com or by email at behindthemask@cisassigning.com. 

Our theme music is “Laying Low” by Admiral Bob. Thank you for listening. Have a great one and happy umpiring.